Truth be told, I'm feel very very tired at the moment and I'm struggling to find my crafting mojo. I think it's due to a combination of the stress our family has had to cope with over the last 2 years and the fact that we haven't had a decent holiday with just the four of us since 2009. On top of that like so many Sydney families we play the commuting game, with Mr J out the door before 6 in the morning and not home again until well after 8 in the evening. It means that Ben doesn't see his Dad for 4 out of 7 days and I feel very much the solo parent most of the time. We've been a Police family for a while now so I am used to the funky hours and periods of parenting on my own. I have to be thankful that the kids are older now and it's not as hard as it once was - with a three year old bouncing off the walls and a newborn baby for example. The thing is, it all adds up.
I feel like I've been carrying a sack on my back and every day someone adds a teaspoon of sand to it. It was barely noticeable at first, but it's oh so heavy now. Every morning I heave that sack onto my back again and carry it throughout the day. By late afternoon I'm worn out.
I have some things planned to help me find some balance again until we can take that much needed holiday over summer. I had a good think about what I need to feel calm and relaxed, what hypes me up and what brings me back down again. For me, I need to be out in the open air with lots of space around me. No rushing, no craziness. I love trips to the city but it's not where I need to be right now.
So. In August, sometime, we will go camping for a night or maybe two. A National Park, big trees, torches, cups of tea and chocolate biscuits, roasting marshmallows, giggling with the kids, telling each other bedtime stories. Yes.
For my birthday in September, a road trip. Up and over the mountain to the Central West. A farm house, the markets, an old gold mining town, a stack of newspapers to read, wine by the fire and a roast lamb for dinner.
Until then, I do what I always do when I'm feeling a bit bogged down. I dream. I research on the Internet, I get books from the library and stack them beside my bed. When I lie in bed at night in the dark and for the first time in 15 hours no-one is asking me anything - I dream and plot and plan. In the past it was always travel destinations. I've spent hours researching things like villas in Tuscany, how much money we'd need to live in India for 6 months and domestic flights in Mexico.
But this time, it's all about land and it's all about houses. So in the absence of something clever to show you that you can make at home, I'm going to show you what I've been dreaming of over the last couple of months.
What do you dream about?
I'm sorry to read that you are feeling so tired and worn out (though somehow glad to find it's not only me...). Have only come across your blog recently and found some lovely ideas. Hope you'll be feeling better soon!
ReplyDeleteAndrea